In most cases it is the pain the driving force that pushes people to turn to a psychotherapist. Regardless of the type of I disturb (depressive, anxiety, psychosomatic, dependent or other) the request is always more or less the same: "“Doctor, help me overcome this problem, I can't stand being sick anymore!”.
I usually reply that yes, I'll help her, but it will be a team effort and she'll do the hard work. Then I add: “There will come a time when she will thank her trouble, we will be at the end of the journey, she will feel stronger and enriched”.
The reaction is usually one of puzzlement and amazement. “Doctor, how can I thank this symptom that I want to eradicate and that is causing me so much suffering?”
“"True, it seems impossible right now. But that's what's happening because, thanks to his disorder and the process we'll take, he'll learn to know himself better. It will be a beautiful journey, an adventure, where he'll have the opportunity to grow and develop resources he never dreamed he had."”.
Now, a clinician may think that this is a way to sow a hypnotic suggestion, and it may be, but in reality that's what really happens.
There psychotherapy in fact it is not simply a path that leads us to overcome our disorders, but it is a path which leads us to develop and strengthen our seventh sense.
As he suggests Daniel J. Siegel, while our first five senses (sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch) allow us to perceive the external world and the sixth sense (introception) to perceive our internal bodily states, the seventh sense, which is called mindsight, represents the ability to look inside ourselves and perceive the mind, to reflect on our experiences, a sort of focused attention that allows us to observe how we function internally and to perceive the world with a new and never-before-experienced clarity.
There mindsight It is a skill that can be learned and cultivated and, from the latest research in neuroscience, causes a change at brain level creating a harmonious integration between the various distinct and often disconnected parts of the brain.
A common fear of those who begin a psychotherapeutic journey is that if we reflect on our mind we open a Pandora's box which frees all humanity's problems. But this is not the case. If, as Siegel writes, “When we look at our minds with curiosity and respect, rather than fear and avoidance, a great transformation begins. Inviting our thoughts and feelings into awareness allows us to learn from them rather than be guided by them. We can quiet them without necessarily ignoring them; we can listen to their wisdom without being terrified by their cries.”.
At the heart of mindsight is the power of reflection which is based on three components:
- opening that is, being receptive to whatever comes into our awareness; this allows us to perceive things clearly and free the mind from restrictive judgments;
- observation that is, the ability to perceive ourselves as if we were experiencing an event; this allows us to break free from automatic and habitual behaviors and find ways to modify them;
- objectivity That is, the ability to have a thought and experience a feeling without being overwhelmed by it; in other words, to maintain the right distance and be aware of our reactions to free ourselves from the prison of automatic responses.
Using mindsight is like to focus the lens of a camera allows us to see who we are with greater depth and precision and achieve the desired changes.
In short, training our seventh sense represents the’essence of psychotherapy: a beautiful adventurous journey of self-discovery towards our well-being.
👉 Exercises and tips
Duration: 15 minutes.
Frequency: when it happens.
Objective: train the ability of self-observation.
ActionWhen you find yourself facing an unpleasant emotional state, take at least 15 minutes to practice observing what's happening inside you with objectivity and an open mind. Embrace every thought, emotion, and sensation you experience as if you were a scientist observing an event with curiosity, without judgment or fear. Imagine observing it from the outside, understanding its deeper meaning, how it works, and maintaining the right distance so as not to be overwhelmed by it. Finally, seek a new, better, more appropriate way to react, one that can eliminate the problem or address it more wisely.
ExampleLately, you've been waking up with a start in the middle of the night, agitated and with an anxiety that won't leave you until morning. These awakenings make you feel exhausted and affect your work performance. You can't understand why; after all, everything is fine in your life. A part of you would like to rid yourself of this unpleasant emotion as soon as possible, and is tempted to seek prescription sleeping pills.
Instead, decide to use your seventh sense, the mindsight. When you wake up at night, you do nothing to chase away the tachycardia and the anxiety that accompanies it. You eliminate the thought that everything is fine and focus on the unpleasant sensation: you try to understand it and welcome it (opening). Listen to your heart, the rhythm of your breathing, your sweating and all your bodily manifestations; let them flow and pay attention to all the thoughts that your mind formulates associated with what you feel (observation). Take the time to stay with this feeling and listen to it as if a deep part of you wanted to communicate something important to you. At a certain point, you discover the thought that terrifies you: a few days ago, a colleague of yours mentioned an imminent corporate restructuring; although you rationally believe that your job won't be affected, on a deeper level, you fear being fired. You distance yourself from the fear and let your mind move towards a solution.objectivity): What can you do to ensure you don't lose your job, and if you do, how can you create alternative job opportunities now?
Don't be surprised if at this point in the process your anxiety she disappeared.
